Ouran High School Host Club - Who's the killer?
by AnimeLover5921
Summary: Who's the killer? They're being killed... Who's the killer?


Honey the little child", Haruhi the main girl, Kaoru and Hikaru, Tamaki the best one and Kyoya sebby

BTW I've never seen it :)  
Haruhi was sitting in her room, in the mansion (I hope that's where her room is lol) when Honey burst through her door, breaking it!  
"Haruhi! We have a problem!" Honey said.  
"What's wrong?" Haruhi asked.  
"Mori! He's...DEAD!" Honey said.  
"M-Mori?!" Haruhi yelled. She ran out and followed Honey to Mori's dead body.  
Everyone was gathered around him.  
"How did he die!?" Haruhi asked.  
"He had a broomstick in his butt and out his mouth.." Kyoya said.  
"Ewww, not the best way to go" Haruhi said.  
"This is obviously a hate crime!" Tamaki said.  
"Hate crime?" Haruhi asked.  
"Yes, obviously whoever did this has a thing against him being gay!" Tamaki said.  
"He isn't gay" Haruhi said.  
"What? I thought he was?" Tamaki asked.  
"No, he probably the straightest man ever" Haruhi said.  
"Yeah, he was as straight as a rainbow! Hey, we said that at the same time! We were meant to be!" Kaoru and Hikaru said, then began making out violently.  
"Whatever. Who would do this?!" Haruhi yelled.  
"It wasn't me because I was sleeping and I woke up when I heard someone scream" Honey said.  
"Honey got me, so it wasn't me" Haruhi said.  
"It wasn't us, we were having HARDCORE BUTTSEX!" Kaoru and Hikaru said.  
"I was fapping to porn" Kyoya said.  
"Eww, too much information, guys!" Haruhi said.  
"What about you Tamaki?" Honey asked.  
"I was eating lunch" Tamaki said.  
"At 1:30?" Haruhi asked.  
"Yes, because this morning I was too busy" Tamaki said.  
"Too busy doing what?" Haruhi asked, getting suspicious.  
"Me and Renge were hanging out" Tamaki said.  
"I highly doubt that but whatever. Someone in this room had to have killed him!" Haruhi said.  
"I have no idea" Honey said as he walked away.  
"Yeah, it's just one less mouth to feed" Tamaki also walked away.  
"We're gonna go have butt sex" Kaoru and Hikaru walked away.  
"Wait! How could you not care?!" Haruhi asked.  
"No one ever really liked him anyway!" Tamaki said.  
"Well, it looks like me and you are the only people that care" Kyoya put his arm around Haruhi.  
"No, I don't care, I was just prentending to not seem like a bad person" Haruhi said.  
THey looked at eachother for awhile and then walked away.  
A FEW HOURS LATER Kyoya screams from the kitchen.  
"Kyoya! That's his amazing sexy manly scream!" Haruhi said.  
She ran to the kitchen and saw Kyoya with a knife stuck in his neck.  
"What Haruhi- WHAT THE FRICK?!" Tamaki yells and then throws up everywhere.  
"Who did this?!" Haruhi yelled.  
"Kyoya!" Honey cried.  
"How come people care about him and not Mori?" Kaoru and Hikari asked.  
"Cause Kyoya is hot!" Haruhi said.  
"Yeah, I get it" Kaoru and Hikari said.  
"So who's doing this?" Haruhi asked.  
"I rule it a suicide!" Tamaki said.  
"This isn't a suicide!" Haruhi said.  
"It is! Because you turned down his love!" Tamaki said.  
"He never even confessed his love..." Haruhi said.  
"Whatever it must've been a dream" Tamaki said.  
"He was cooking dinner for us!" Honey cried.  
"So who's doing this?!" Haruhi asked.  
"I don't care, that's less competition for me!" Tamaki said.  
"Competition?" Haruhi asked.  
"Yeah for you" Tamaki said.  
Haruhi blushed.  
Honey sharted.  
Tamaki winked.  
"So now what are we gonna do? This place is gonna reek of dead people!" Honey said, eating the soup Kyoya prepared.  
"Eww, are you eating that? His blood was spilled in it" Haruhi said.  
"It makes it taste better!" Honey said.  
"I'll go dump them in the back dumpster" Tamaki said.  
Tamaki walked away to go get Mori.  
"Hmm, who would do this?" Kaoru and Hikari asked.  
"It's Tamaki, and I know it!" Haruhi said.  
Tamaki screamed.  
"Tamaki!" Honey yelled.  
THey went in there and Moris dead body is gone!  
"Where is his body?" Tamaki asked.  
"I have no idea!" Haruhi yelled.  
"Crap! Now someone know that he's dead because they took his body!" Tamaki said.  
"We're all gonna go to prison!" Honey said.  
"I wouldn't mind...Anal is rampade in prison" Kaoru and Hikari wiggled their eye brows at eachother and then winked at Tamaki.  
"No one is going to prison! Maybe he walked away!" Haruhi said.  
"He was completely dead, he had no pulse" Tamaki said.  
They went back into the kitchen and Kyoya's dead body was gone too!  
"What the frick?!" Honey yelled.  
"Watch your profanity!" Haruhi said.  
"Where are all the dead bodies going?!" Tamaki asked.  
"Hmmm, maybe they aren't dead!" Haruhi said.  
"They are, he had a knife through his neck!" Honey said.  
They heard someone laugh and then the lights when out.  
"I'm scared" Honey crapped through his mouth lol.  
They heard gun shots and the lights went back on.  
Tamaki hovered over Haruhi, Honey was crapping through his mouth on the floor and Kaoru and Hikari were dead, with bullets through their heads. At least they died kissing.  
"What?!" Haruhi yelled.  
"Do you wanna know who this is?" Someone asked.  
"WHO'S DOING THIS?!" Haruhi asked.  
Renge walked in, holding her gun.  
"R-Renge?!" Haruhi asked.  
"I've been killing everyone here because I wanted yo! I wanted you!" Renge yelled.  
"This is crazy!" Haruhi said.  
"Yes, Yes I am! I was crazy in love with you but then I found out you were a female! I was devasted!" Renge yelled.  
"Why would you think I was a man?!" Haruhi asked.  
"Ok, when everyone first met you, they all thought you were a man" renge said.  
Everyone shook their heads.  
"So what made you realize I was female?" Haruhi asked.  
"Last night I was peeping through your windows and I saw you changing and I saw you had a bra. At first I thought you were gay but then I saw your boobs were real!" Renge said.  
"So why not go lesbian for me?" Haruhi said.  
"I don't know, I just don't swing that way" Renge said.  
"Wait a minute, Tamaki said that he was hanging out with you today when Mori was being killed, so are you guys both doing this?!" Honey asked.  
Renge shot him in the crotch.  
"He talks too much and yes, Tamaki told me who to kill. So we could both have her" Renge said.  
"2 things, 1, I thought you said you didn't swing that way and 2, why did you drag away the bodies?" Haruhi said.  
"Because, it's a fun collection!" Renge smiled.  
"So wait, you both loved me so you killed everyone?" Haruhi asked.  
"Yep, and I hope you accept my love!" Renge said.  
"Nope!" she ran over to the counter grabbed a kitchen knife and began stabbing herself repeatedly.  
"Haruhi!" Tamaki yelled, running over to her.  
"You would rather die than be with us?!" Tamaki asked.  
"Yeah basically!" Haruhi fell over and died.  
"Well, what are we gonna do now?!" Renge asked.  
"Why don't me and you go out since everyone else is dead?" Tamaki asked.  
"Sure" Renge said.  
"So we're gonna move to Mexico and change our names?" Tamaki asked.  
"Yep!" Renge said.  
They walked away, holding hands.  
Teh end :) 


End file.
